“If I could change three things about me, they would be my hair, my freckles, and my name.”
I looked in the rear view mirror at my redheaded, freckle-faced boy named Theodore, and my heart ached.
“I love those things about you. They’re part of what makes you who you are. Why would you want to change them?”
“Because they’re different. Everybody else just looks normal, and has normal names. Not like me.”
I chose my words carefully, trying not to chastise or judge. Something in his tone reminded me of a little girl I used to know. A little girl who hated her freckles too.
“That’s what makes them so special. Believe me, sweetie, it’s not a good thing to be like everyone else. That’s boring. That’s why God made us all different. It keeps the world interesting.”
“Oh, Mom, you just don’t understand.”
Some truths are given little credence when spoken from a mother’s lips. No matter what I said, he remained unconvinced. I felt like I had failed him somehow.
My son is not the only one who struggles with feeling “different”. Countless adults battle feelings of inadequacy every day when they look in the mirror. Whether it’s that extra ten pounds, an undesired birthmark, or a secret emotional scar; we all have some mark on our being that we are sure others will revile.
Our differences can leave us feeling insecure and alone. Still, there is One who celebrates our uniqueness, One who is charmed by our oddities and loves even our scars. This One sees every part of us and still calls us beautiful. He is El Roi, the God who sees.
Yet, we, like my son, turn our ears away from our loving Parent. It’s too difficult to grasp that He loves us with all of our flaws and imperfections. We say, “Oh, Father, you just don’t understand.” But we are wrong. He understands all too well.
Scripture tells us, “…He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering…” (Isaiah 53:2b-3a NIV).
Yes, He understands how it feels to be different.
That week, I prayed for God to help me explain this truth to my son in words that he would hear. I wanted so desperately for him to understand how special he is, not just to me, but to his Heavenly Father, as well.
The Lord is faithful, and He placed Revelation 2:17 in my hands. I sat my son down and shared this scripture with him, explaining that God has a special name set aside just for him. I told him that no matter what he is called during his time here on earth, there is a name waiting for him in heaven. A name that will have nothing but love attached to it.
While we were at it, I read him Psalm 56:8, and told him that God loves him so much, He keeps track of every tear that has fallen from his eyes. Then: Luke 12:7; He knows the number of hairs on our heads. (No matter what color they are!) And He probably counts freckles for fun.
We are set apart, Dear Ones, but we are not alone. Our Heavenly Father sees us. All of us. Every secret scar and past sin. Every freckle that has ever graced a nose. Each and every red hair.
And He is “enthralled” by our beauty. (Psalm 45:11NIV)
19 comments:
Growing up with red hair and freckles I totally understand your son, but as a Mom who knows God made me just the way He wanted to, I totally understand what you shared with him. Beautiful words of wisdom from His Momma.
Love it...my mind goes flying to these thoughts....it's interesting to cruise around the blogging world and "hear" others apologize that they aren't quite up to someone else's level of posting or photography...or wish that they could have posts like others... YET I CELEBRATE those who are different who don't have droves of followers who dare to put themselves "out there"....who find they're own voice. Each one of us is worth celebrating because we are who God created us to be....yet lingering inside most of us is this hunger to be noticed and praised...overcoming is our middle name until we have face to face.
First of all, you are adorable! And, I love your name too.
Your son is too cute! I fell in love with his precious face the first time I saw pictures of him on your blog.
I know exactly what you're talking about in this post.
I know how I have felt at different times in my life....feelings of insecurities because of my front teeth that (for years) were crooked. My mom would tell me how unique that was and how nobody even noticed.
But I did and I never wanted to smile showing my teeth. There were other things through the years.
As I've "grown up" literally and in the Lord, I've become so much more secure because I know how He feels about me. Like the verses you quoted so sweetly say. I am memorizing Psalm 139 and have completed verses 1-10, but that whole chapter is great. Verse one says "Oh Lord, You have searched me and you know me." Yes, He does. Better than anyone.
I have also said these same words to my children, especially during the teen years as you have and tried like everything to encourage them and they would say "You're my mom....of course you're gonna say those things." I meant it...just like our Father means it.
You are such a sweet, tender, loving mom. Your kids are so very blessed to have a mom like you who takes time to listen and encourage.
The verse in Revelation made me tear up. I can't wait for the day to hear the name of God He has saved for that time.
Loved, loved, loved this post Laura.
Love you too!!
Valerie
You are amazing. We all need to stop comparing and just be ourselves and enjoy each other. Easier said than done. Beautiful words. Connie
beautiful. His word speaks.
Laura, this is a great post because I think in some ways we all "feel" different. My kids are obviously different from those around them, living in a foreign culture. It is not always easy, but this post reminded me to always point out the "set apartness" of our differences. What a beautiful thing.
What a sweet and beautiful post. And yes, don't we all feel different in some way at some time?
Your response was full of love. Thank you for sharing a peek at your world!
I had to chuckle while I read this, remembering my own reaction with my mother over my name.
I grew up in a class of 37 kids, and four of us were named Jennifer. I wanted to be unique, wanted to stand out. But I was plain ol' Jennifer, like four others in my graduating class.
And now, there's a baby-naming book called "Beyond Jennifer and Jason."
:-)
I'm reminded, too, as I read your post, of that beautiful song called "He Knows My Name."
Thank you for your ministry here at The Wellblog ...
Wonderful, Laura. Just...wonderful.
I'm printing this off and keeping it safe for when my own children grow up enough to find something wrong with them.
Thank you for this, it is exactly what I need for a little girl who also hates her freckles and her name. What a blessing you have given me today.
Laura... thanks so much for sharing this with us. Great words of wisdom.
I loved it!
Blessings,
Lynn
As spouses and parents, we often find what is different about our spouse or children special and endearing. But, they may find it embarrassing, simply b/c it is different. That's a shame. Your post is a good reminder that God made us all special in some way. With your loving reminder through the years I think your son will come to accept that, too. Good job.
we all have some mark on our being that we are sure others will revile.
Sister, this is what keeps us away from our healing....often. When I allow myself to be stretched by Him and to remember that He created me knowing all of that...then I BELIEVE and take a delightful hit of air.
love ya
Each of us is fearfully and wonderfully made. Truly believing this can be our greatest victory.
Great article! Well written as always.
Always loved that verse about the stone with our name on it. It´s like we can finally see some kind of beauty in ourselves through the eyes of God, that was there all along but perhaps buried, misunderstood. Such a tender revelation.
I deal with the question a lot from my daughter, who will turn 7 this summer. Already, she is feeling the pressure of being different (her different looks like "short hair" instead of the long "do's" of her friends; she's also a tomboy in many ways). I always try and emphasize her beauty in God's eyes and that being different isn't such a bad thing. It sets her apart.
Great devo, Laura. I hope you have the occasion to author more of these for publication.
peace~elaine
Laura, What beautiful thoughts. What a wonderful mother you are. You remain in my thoughts and prayers. I pray that God will FILL you with His peace and love until your heart overflows. Much Love to You!
nice devotional - i love red hair and freckles BECAUSE they are different - it is good to have a parent such as you
It’s too difficult to grasp that He loves us with all of our flaws and imperfections. We say, 'Oh, Father, you just don’t understand.' But we are wrong. He understands all too well.Yeah. I can't hear that message too many times. Thanks for helping me hear it again.
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