Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Object: Tube of Paint


This crazy canvas stares blankly at me every time I walk by.

It’s.

Still.

White.




Ever since this day—almost a full year ago--when I loaded up boys in a panic of optimism and flew to Michaels.

Because I had to have it.

Had to paint.

Because I was dreaming of Michelangelo.

And I have painted since. Two lovelies that were gifted to appreciative walls.

But this--this wallflower--remains bare.

Because I wanted it to be special.

Needed it to be special.

And I just haven’t had the time.

But I wonder…am I afraid?

I know that fear; the paralyzing terror of making first stroke, reaching first touch, writing first word, leaping into thin air…

And this leads me to wonder: where else is an empty place waiting? What else does fear leave pale and wanting?

The question carries me to my paintbox.

These lifeless tubes of paint hold power over me that I cannot give word to. I tremble when I take them out of their hiding place. My heart thrills.

And the setting up of the palette becomes this prayer…



alizarin crimson
cerulean blue
scarlet lake…


chunky
metal
vessel
rolled up on end
like my tube of toothpaste


yellow ochre
burnt sienna
viridian…


life hidden
inside
fragile walls


give to me
your color.


ultramarine
sap green
permanent
rose…


stagnant
dormant
waiting
to be squeezed out


give to me
Your water


and see me flow--
rivulets of
color.


This prayer-poem responds to L.L. Barkat’s weekly poetry challenge. Visit her here to learn more about it.



13 comments:

L.L. Barkat said...

Laura, every time you write a new poem, it's like the building up of paint... richer, more nuanced... and I delight in it.

This was truly beautiful.

deb said...

wow.
and to courage in this endeavour

lisasmith said...

ooooo...now I can't wait to see the finished masterpiece!! I should write about the lesson God taught me with paint. The glory is you're the artist. You get to choose when to stop, when it's pleasing to your eye. Enjoy!

Naomi said...

I just wrote you this HUGE note, and then blogger tells me there was an error!!! Anyhoo! HELLO! And how are you? Your poem, as ever, leaves me in awe... As for the canvas, I can so relate to your hesitation; I either want to savor, or just can't 'committ' - funny creatures, we are... My 3 nephews (10, 7 & 5) painted over a massive canvas, that was pink, but is now grass green for their Mum; there was no holding back for them... It looks fantastic, with their varying strengths of stroke and movement... and I'm in awe of THEIR spirit and energy :)! Hope this finds you and your family well. I think of you often. Naomi x

Stacy said...

Laura, your words are beautiful! I have always dubbed myself as un-imaginative because I usually have to literally see to comprehend. But each time I read one of your poems, I can actually visualize your words and feel a stir within my heart. You truly have a remarkable gift. Thanks for being willing to share that gift.

Pamela (His maidservant) said...

ohhhh...I can't wait to see this one. You must post a picture of it when you do complete it!

Blessings!

His Maidservant~Pamela

grey like snuffie said...

Oh the fantasies in my head of being able to paint...NEVER have I taken any kind of art class but I would love to have that gift...I so enjoy the results from others endeavors....seems like magic to start with a blank slate and watch something appear.

Yolanda said...

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT


You hold a depthness of RICHNESS. Shower those gifts the Lord has blessed you with friend.....pour forth and watch His blessings pour as well.

Lovingly,
Yolanda

valerie said...

I can't wait to see the finished work of art!
Go for it!!!

You are an amazingly talented woman!!! I can't imagine being able to write like you do AND have artistic gifts as well. Not fair. ;)

Rain said...

If your painting is like your writing you should just leap and it will be wonderful:)

mom2six said...

I delight in it
wow
you're the artist
awe
stir within my heart
ohhhh
seems like magic
LOVE IT
amazingly talented woman
wonderful

I can only echo what everyone else has already spoken...

Tea With Tiffany said...

I tried to paint a canvas within the last month. It was quite a fun adventure. I ended up singing wild and crazy country songs I made up to keep the flow. I started strong but didn't finish. But hey, I tried. And it felt great.

Paint on. Enter into the wonderful world of color.

:)

RickNiekLikeBikes said...

I have a painting God's asked me to paint for the better part of 20 years...have to pull the canvas from the attic.

Glad I found you today!